Lies By Christopher Jordan

I was drunk in an ally, talking to a group of people, when a guy came up to me and said, "I'm sure I know you from somewhere."

I said, "Aye, I'm a bit famous."

He said, "Oh really?" (Not impressed)

I said, "Aye, I was in Friends.

He said, "AYE?!" (Impressed)

I said, "Aye, ya know that episode where Ross is dating his student?"

He said, "Aye!"

I said, "And you know how her dad shows up and thinks Ross is too old for her?"

He said, "AYE!"

I said, "I was her dad."

He paused... and said, "That's Bruce Willis."

I said, "Aye, I'm Bruce Willis."

(I'm not really Bruce Willis.)

in Edinburgh, United Kingdom


BE WARNED! My views and opinions are not for everyone. You should avoid reading anything I write if you respect religion, tolerance, sobriety or general human decency.

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