Toilets in my Time By Mary Webb

Travelling around the world, more than a few of my most embarrassing times seem to be caused by the necessity of going to the loo. Being born in an era when they were situated at the bottom of the garden meant braving the elements, holidays also meant longdrops with the worry of disappearing down the hole. Most times its been the old adage of (locked in the loo) nevertheless I've emerged from the loo red faced after being broken out, always a crowd staring at me. Then there is the cleanliness element, one sheet only or paying for the privilege of more, or putting perfumed handkerchiefs under your nose to get past the stench. One toilet in Europe revolved the seat to clean after flushing,it was fascinating so I had to do it again, thought I was seeing things. Then there was the elderly mum that pressed the OPEN button on a London autoloo exposing herself, her son hastily closed the door whereupon the toilet and mum were nicely cleaned. I always make my husband go in with me if I use them now. The latest time was a Tesco store when after going, I opened up to urinals, and a man hastily hiding his manhood. He was not amused (as Queen Victoria would have said) I said this must be the gents, sorry as I made a hasty exit. The most embarrassing ever though, was at the Swazi South Africa border, the door just would not open and I had to climb over to the next cubicle but this showed me to a queue of people at passport control, who laughed and cheered at me on top of the roof.


I am an old wrinkley who is blessed with 7 children 11 grandchildren. Always liked to tell stories about my past, and rarely write them down, hoping to give enjoyment.

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