My Magical Muffin Adventure - Part 1 By Chris Begg

It may be hard to believe, but when I was a teenager I was quite the ladies man. Up until the age 17 I was rarely without a girlfriend, even though I couldn't quite grow a decent looking beard.

When I was 15 I had a girlfriend called Fiona. In high school terms this was a long term relationship; We'd been together for a whole 6 months! So, you know, this was a serious thing.

One day I went with her to one of her friends houses, and to say the house was in a state of disrepair would be like saying constipation is a fun way to spend a weekend. The place was an absolute mess, and Fiona's friends Mum was trying to intimidate with stories of all the people she knew who could beat me up. I wasn't scared though, because I was 15 and had done one class of boxercise. I could take on anyone.

Shortly after they offered me a chocolate muffin. Chocolate is one of my main weaknesses, so naturally I accepted. It was a delicious muffin, until I pulled a stem out of my teeth. Unknown to me, they had been pot muffins. Delicious, yummy, pot muffins. After a while I left, thinking nothing of the muffin. There had been no effect from it, so I continued on my merry way to catch the bus home.

As the bus approached my stop I started to feel this tingling sensation in my toes, and it slowly made its way up my legs, and to the rest of my body. I was freaking out. I had no idea what was happening, and I started getting paranoid, right before walking home in the dark.

To be continued.

in Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia


Comedian, Musician, Writer, Animator, and part time human being. Hobbies include tickle fights, playing guitar, cabbage, and high tea parties on the Maharashtra river.

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