This is not an original joke, but I heard it this week and I liked it so I am going to share it .
A Scotsman passes away and gets up to the pearly gates and God says, I have noticed that during your life you haven't been very generous and I don't think I can let you in.
He answered in desperation, but I once put 10 cents in a Salvation Army Tin, someone had dropped it near the tin, God said I don't think that's going to do it.
Getting more desperate, he said I once woke my brother up free of charge. By this time God had given up, but giving him one more chance he said have you ever committed an act of bravery.
The Scotsman answered yes, I once saw a woman getting attacked in a laneway by a huge violent man so I rushed up to save her. God said that's great when did this happen.....Scotsman answers...about 3 minutes ago!!!