After seeing Megadeth and Slayer two nights in a row in two cities, my best friend and I decided against the 3 hour drive home and opted to drive around for a bit until we found a cheap place to stay for the night.
After 15 mins of driving down random streets, we found a dilapidated motel that looked like the kind of place you'd expect at least one door to be covered in fresh police tape. We each paid $44 and made our way to the room. It had everything you could ever want in a cheap motel: two beds that I assume were more semen than actual bed, a TV that was at least twice as old as me, and a small dirty bathroom.
After my friend got out of the shower he informed me the toilet wasn't flushing. This was problematic because I needed to take a dump, but was too tired to bother asking for a new room. No worries, I had a plan.
I hopped in the tub, cleaned myself off, squatted, and prepared myself for an exciting new experience. I pushed and pushed until after about 5 minutes a chunk of what was comparable to carbonite slammed down into the tub. It looked so out of place, kind of like a lost child wandering around Wal-Mart. I then came to the horrifying realization that the drain was one of those old tiny ones with the three little grate things to keep stuff from falling down it...