Tubguy (Part I) By Ray Mangina

After seeing Megadeth and Slayer two nights in a row in two cities, my best friend and I decided against the 3 hour drive home and opted to drive around for a bit until we found a cheap place to stay for the night.

After 15 mins of driving down random streets, we found a dilapidated motel that looked like the kind of place you'd expect at least one door to be covered in fresh police tape. We each paid $44 and made our way to the room. It had everything you could ever want in a cheap motel: two beds that I assume were more semen than actual bed, a TV that was at least twice as old as me, and a small dirty bathroom.

After my friend got out of the shower he informed me the toilet wasn't flushing. This was problematic because I needed to take a dump, but was too tired to bother asking for a new room. No worries, I had a plan.

I hopped in the tub, cleaned myself off, squatted, and prepared myself for an exciting new experience. I pushed and pushed until after about 5 minutes a chunk of what was comparable to carbonite slammed down into the tub. It looked so out of place, kind of like a lost child wandering around Wal-Mart. I then came to the horrifying realization that the drain was one of those old tiny ones with the three little grate things to keep stuff from falling down it...

CLICK HERE FOR PART II.


 797

Just awful.

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