The Time I genuinely nearly got killed by a firebreathing dragon By Rahul Kohli

In Krakow, there is a common old myth that a dragon by the name of Smog lived there, he used to terrorise the inhabitants, eat women and children and everyone used to live in fear of him. Knight after Knight came to fight him, and each one was devoured. Then one day, a night by the name of Kraak came along, and fought him to the death in a story not too dissimilar to that of our own St George, hence why as argued by many locals, the city came to be known as Krakow

Me and a few friends decided to go visit this museum, when we were travelling through Krakow, as there aren’t many cities that boast a dragon museum as an attraction. Outside the tour of the museum, there was a big metal statue of Smog about 18 – 20 ft high. I saw some kids playing about on the bottom, and as I get entertained by very little, I’m an adequate climber, and I was still a bit drunk, I decided to climb the dragon, I got right to the top, grabbing on the spines of its back, using its arms as steps, and as I was about 17 foot high, just before I was about to sit on top of it’s head, I had my hand round the back of its head, and I turned to my friend and asked him to take a picture of me hugging dear Smog, and as I smiled, I saw my friend who was about to take the pictures face recoil in sheer horror. As I saw this, I was distracted by a scorching heat on the side of my face accompanied by some huge gust of wind like noise on the left of me. I turned to see dear old Smog billowing a huge breath of fire, out of his mouth about a foot away from my face. My hand quickly came off from its head, my feet slipped and I fell 17feet below, I managed to land on my feet, but I did slip and twisted an ankle and fell straight on my back. As I fell, I could do nothing but scream “THE DRAGONS ALIVE, WARN THE VILLAGERS.” As a torrent of children, families, tourists, and my three closest friends all burst out in laughter at the situation. They laughed, but one foot closer, and I genuinely wouldn’t have a face, and who’d be laughing then? I dunno, but it wouldn’t be me, cause I wouldn’t have a face.

in Krakow, Poland


Part time comedian/part time writer/part time bum. Have a habit of finding myself in ridiculous situations.

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