Murder in the Bedroom By Rahul Kohli

It's the dying days before I go to Uni. Me and my friends are out for a big one before we depart. We're in the club, being newly single, I'm unsure about my flirting abilities, but within 5 minutes I've picked up a girl. I'm over the moon. If this goes right, I'll be having sex for the first time with someone other than my ex... But I'm not at Uni yet. I'm only 18, I still live with the family, I can't bring this girl back... I do live in the Attic tho? No one will be awake now and they never come up anyway? But by this point none of that matters, I'm already in a taxi home with the girl. We get home, We get to it. Its amazing. We wake up and do it again. I go for a shower, and when I come back up, she's made my bed! Alarm Bells should be ringing, but at the naive and slightly mysoginistic age of 18, I just think 'This one's a keeper.' I sneak her out the house, and drop her off en route to work, flyering, & none of my fam are any the wiser. Work was tiring, but I smiled through the whole 9 hours even though I was on my feet the entire time. I get home, shattered, smiling, longing for nothing more than the comfort of my bed. I open the cover and froze as I looked at my bedsheets...soaked in the vagina blood of the strange girl I picked up last night. Her making my bed suddenly made sense...but I'm only 18, I'm not at uni yet. I don't even know where to begin washing bedsheets plus mum'll get suspicious if she I slept in it for a week, until the cleaner washed em.

in Newcastle upon Tyne, United Kingdom


Part time comedian/part time writer/part time bum. Have a habit of finding myself in ridiculous situations.

See Rahul's profile.

Rahul's website.


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