Embarrassment is my middle name.
Okay, it isn't I lied, it is Eden.
Yes, like in-the-garden-of....
I used to be a church-goer and one day while in church, I was sitting and singing along, happy as a clam.
Really, though what does that mean? "Happy as a clam"? Are clams especially happy?
Is there a more appropriate saying for church?
There I was singing along, happy as a lamb? Yeah, that is better.
Singing happy as a lamb, clapping my hands, and all that happy stuff.
Then the pastor said, "Please stand and shake hands."
So, I stood up, but my pants did not.
How, I got out of there I cannot tell you, but it was quick.
How, I got my pants up so quickly was nothing sort of miraculous.
I did go back to church the next Sunday. If anyone had noticed (how could they not?) they were politely silent about it.
I never wore those pants again. I think I burned them.
Okay, that last part was a lie, it just sounded better than threw them out and although I have not been to church in awhile, It is never good to tamper with that kind of stuff.