I Lost My Pants in Church. By Rachael McGimpsey

Embarrassment is my middle name.

Okay, it isn't I lied, it is Eden.

Yes, like in-the-garden-of....

I used to be a church-goer and one day while in church, I was sitting and singing along, happy as a clam.

Really, though what does that mean? "Happy as a clam"? Are clams especially happy?

Is there a more appropriate saying for church?

There I was singing along, happy as a lamb? Yeah, that is better.

Singing happy as a lamb, clapping my hands, and all that happy stuff.

Then the pastor said, "Please stand and shake hands."

So, I stood up, but my pants did not.

How, I got out of there I cannot tell you, but it was quick.

How, I got my pants up so quickly was nothing sort of miraculous.

I did go back to church the next Sunday. If anyone had noticed (how could they not?) they were politely silent about it.

I never wore those pants again. I think I burned them.

Okay, that last part was a lie, it just sounded better than threw them out and although I have not been to church in awhile, It is never good to tamper with that kind of stuff.


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Hate bios! I am a wife, mom, and writer. Currently going back to school, because at over 40, why not? I would make something more fantastic up, but you have not given me enough characters.

See Rachael's profile.

Rachael's website.

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