Never try and mug a Glaswegian. By Paul McDougall

Now from the title you are probably thinking why are you mugging a Glaswegian man in Istanbul?

Well it's not. I am the Glaswegian in question and I was over in Istanbul with my day job. My job was simple. Travel with a group of agents and escort them round the incredible city of Istanbul, show them the sights and make sure that they had a perfect time. Basically impress the shit out of them.

We went to the Grand Bazaar. We walked around for ages looking at all the rugs, the Turkish delight and the slightly out of date fake Man United tops. The guys were all suitably impressed and were complimenting the trip and myself for being a lovely guide.

Then whilst looking at a shop window I felt what can only described as 'an arse-feeling' I then clicked that whoever it was behind me was trying to steal my wallet not feel my derriere. As I felt the hand on my arse I spun round to the shock of my guests and grabbed this man by the throat. I shouted and screamed obscenities in his face with my hand round his throat. "What do you F-ing think you are doing? You trying to take my wallet you c$%&" Fortunately he didn't take my wallet.

However the guests I had were shocked, asked to go back to their hotel and now I'm no longer allowed to go abroad with guests.

Never try and mug a Glaswegian.


in Istanbul, Turkey

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Paul McDougall is a Scottish comedian based in Edinburgh and has been on the circuit for over 2 years now. His laidback stories are heard in comedy clubs around the country. Regular Comedian and MC.

See Paul's profile.

Paul's website.

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