Back when...My Dad used to be strict... By Paul McDougall

My Dad has 10 kids and I'm the oldest. As a kid he could look at me and I'd shit myself (not literally). Nowadays he has 9 more and he isn't quite as fierce as he used to be as they have ran him ragged a bit.

Their punishment is to be grounded for around 15 minutes until they've pestered him enough for him to give in and let them out again.

For me times were different...

When I was 4 years old I misbehaved quite a bit and my Dad had unusual methods to punish me.

My Dad was having some drinks with my Uncle and Mum whilst I was asleep and they decided payback was on the cards for my behaviour. They had an LP from the library that has science fiction sound effects on it and a huge sound system. They placed a huge speaker in my room whilst the lights were out and switched on the record player. I woke up hearing these loud, strange noises that are hard to describe but in hindsight reminded me of something from War of the Worlds. I lay there frozen still. After a few seconds my curtains next to my bed starting swinging back and forth whilst the noises grew stranger. After a minute or so I screamed "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD" and out of nowhere he jumped up from beside my bed and shouted "That'll teach you to misbehave won't it!"

Then I shat myself, literally.

My brothers and sisters have no idea how lucky they are.


in Edinburgh, United Kingdom

 643

Paul McDougall is a Scottish comedian based in Edinburgh and has been on the circuit for over 2 years now. His laidback stories are heard in comedy clubs around the country. Regular Comedian and MC.

See Paul's profile.

Paul's website.

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