Everyone at the clinic says the phrase ‘one day at a time’ to me day after day, one day at a time, one at a time, once upon a time.
The days are long. Much sitting around mindlessly watching mindless television shows. They won’t allow us to watch anything with sex, drugs, rock and roll or violence in them. They believe that certain types of music excites us and makes us want us to re-live our misspent youth which, in turn, one day a time would lead us back into temptation. This leaves us with practically nothing to watch at all.
In between we have group therapy discussions although those are all about listening to the leader rambling on with his or her own viewpoints on why we should all be clean and sober. It’s a bit late for that. Maybe we should have had these heart to hearts when we were fifteen years old and just about to start down the roads to our many and various addictions. That’s not to say we didn’t have fun along the way but each time the fun led to disappointment and failure, and one day at a time, we had to re-invent ourselves and start all over. This is my fifth visit to this establishment. Nowadays it takes much longer to be able to be accepted into the programs. They probably think I’m a no hoper and after so many attempts that there is no point in giving me another chance. Naturally this time I am convinced I can overcome the addictions and live the days of my life one at a time clean and sober. The hard part is leaving and having to go back to real life. The arguments start up again, the pressures of work or no work crush in, where to live becomes an issue and those of us with children have the added guilt and pressure. Even thinking about them makes me feel fragile.
One day at a time, one at a time, once upon a time.