Ignoring of Elephants By Michelle Janssen

I think I am the Queen of avoiding conversations I don’t know how to have.A little while ago I made out with a friend of mine at a party. Okay, woah. No need to call anyone a slut.We’d been friends for ages and like any alcohol-influenced decision, it seemed like a good idea at the time. What I didn’t think through is that we’d have to have a follow up conversation. If you are good with reading comprehension, you will remember from the earlier sentences that I am not good at such conversations.To avoid direct face to face contact, we communicated after our makey-outy exchange via facebook. But he decided we should have coffee and discuss properly. WHAT? WHY? But I thought to myself, “Self, you have limited people you actually like hanging out with. Best to maintain this friendship”.We had coffee on a hot, Sunday morning. Nothing says relaxed like sweating in a crowded restaurant. So what did we talk about you ask?We talked about the Sunday Mail articles, our mutual friends, work, I said funny things my Dad had said that week, bit more of work, ohhh it’s getting a bit weird…back to the Sunday Mail. Half an hour later, we got up to pay for coffee and he tried to pay and it was AWKWARD because I already had money out and then I ended up paying for our pseudo date. Clutching my sweaty Sunday Mail under my arm, we waved (yes waved) goodbye and I sat in my car for a while waiting for the air con to work. I didn’t know what to do.So I got out my phone and sent him a Facebook message


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In her 20s, Michelle is a modern woman walking confidently about town, casually using her fly buys rewards card to feel like a true grown up. Her goal is to be a combination of Oprah &Tina Fey.

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