I hurt myself By Melinda Marengo

i don't mean to. Hurt myself, that is. It's just one of those unusual talents. For example, one time I gave myself a fat lip AND a blood nose with (thankfully) the wrong end of a gun. See, apparently when you shoot (which I DON'T normally do, for reasons which will very soon become obvious as to why) you have a dominant eye or shoulder or something, yeah? Well, I had this boyfriend who was into shooting and insisted that I have a go at it. Only the once. He never insisted again. Anyway, so there I was holding this gun in what felt like the most awkward grasp I could possibly muster when all of a sudden I thought 'bugger it, I'm just gonna hold it right in the middle . . . of my face! . . . . I know, I know, I can hear you laughing and gasping. It's just that it all happened so fast that my boyfriend didn't get a chance to say 'NO, DON'T DO IT!!!' and milliseconds later, there I was with the gun firmly against my nose. I pulled the trigger and the thing kicked back into my face with this 'WHAMMO' and seconds later there is blood coming out of my nose, my eyes are watering madly and my lip was swelling to ridiculous proportions. All my boyfriend could do was stand there doubled over with laughter.
To this day, I am so glad it was only a 22 and not some big powerful shotgun or whatever. I could have smashed my whole jaw. See guns really are dangerous . . . especially to unco's like me!


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