Trip from Hell - Almost (Part I) By Liam Fleming

Set the scene. We are embarking on a trip of epic proportions, driving from Scotland to the South of France, not the North, the South. Why? 1- because we are fucking mad. 2- to save about 3 pounds instead of flying. 3- to partake in a stag weekend canoeing down the river Ardeche. I know what you're thinking. This doesn't seem like a normal type of stag do and you're right because as it happens it wasn't; what I mean is it wasn't a stag do, the special couple had decided after booking their dream wedding in Vegas that they no longer were the special couple...

Things did not get anymore straightforward.

Yes the drive was epic; but we figured if we share it out it would be a few hours each and since we got in the party bus first we would get it over and done with then get on the beers. Nope, the other drivers we picked up were already wasted so that was us diving all the way to France until they were sober enough to take over. To add to this piss take after we observed all non-smoking rules the boys that joined decided to 'fuck that' and were puffing away quite the thing, shame on them... Nah, shame on us for being gimps in the first place.

To sum up so far we have a 2000 mile round trip for a stag do that is no longer a stag do & Vegas is down the shitter. Oh yes and we are handcuffed to dick heads.

To be continued...


in Ardèche, Ardeche, France

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Aspiring comedian

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