Got told this story last night at football training and had to share it. One of the local lads was recently on holiday with his girlfriend in Tenerife (I think) although this matters little to the story. Anyway it didn't work out as planned as the girlfriend spent most of the holiday unwell and local lad spent the trip getting there severely unwell :O.
On the plane the local lad felt his tummy rumble. You know that deep tremble one may get when they have diarrhoea? Yes, that one. One thing led to another and the poor boy shit his pants on the aeroplane.
The fun doesn't end there. Seeking to save this seemingly unsaveable situation he heads to the toilet hoping to find his dignity amongst a barrel load of aeroplane toilet roll. As he tries to tidy himself up his tummy goes again...
However, this time it's more or an upward heave so he immediately turns round and is sick down the toilet - simultaneously farting and shitting all over the toilet door and rest of the confined space. He spent a long time in there only to leave with his tail firmly between his shitty legs and the toilet cordoned off for the rest of the flight.
When asked about his experience the local lad simply said, "The best thing that could've happened was that the plane crashed. That way no one would have needed to know."
in On a plane somewhere1,131