16 year old 'wind' By Kitty Malherbe

So I was scheduled for the cushy epidural caesarian show - no pain, but get to hold the baby right away. Scheduled for exactly 08:00 on 30 November 1996. Only drawback was that I had to be at hospital at 6 in the morning. I do not do early mornings. "No problem" the folks at the hospital said. "You can arrive the previous evening. Just make sure you do not eat anything after 9 pm."

Everything packed by 21:00, 29 November. Hungry by 21:05. For McDonalds burger with pink milkshake. "No" says brave (ex) husband. "Do you want this baby?" says I.

One McDonalds burger and pink milkshake later - 22:15 to be precise - I arrive at hospital - very happy and not hungry.

04:30, 30 November: wake up with uncomfortable pain (like wind) in back. Immediate guilt trip - I wasn't supposed to eat after 9 pm!

05:00 - wind worse, nurse concerned, blood pressure check, nurse more concerned. Still I don't confess about the burger. Or pink milkshake.

05:30 - I know why babies scream when they have a wind... hurts like hell. I am seriously considering owning up about burger. And milkshake. Doctors and nurses don't seem to care and... well then I drifted off and... The little "wind" born by emergency caesarian turns 16 next month.


in Stellenbosch, Western Cape, South Africa

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