"Good afternoon, this is your captain speaking. We hope you are enjoying your flight today. Just to let you know that we will be diverting this plane to Sydney as one of the air hostesses has taken ill and needs to get to a hospital. The flight into Sydney will be very turbulent, resulting in a motion sick husband and baby, who will throw up all over you 3 times during descent whilst you’re stuck in your chair and the flight attendants are bound to theirs so no one can assist you. You will need to try and wash yourself in the tiny bathroom and have a full change of clothes. By the time you actually arrive in Mackay hours later than the scheduled arrival time, you will be so tired and your belongings will be all over the plane so you will leave behind your SLR camera and sunglasses. You will have also have missed the last ferry out to Long Island in the Whitsundays where you were headed, so you will have to stay in a dodgy hotel that's like a time warp back to 1985, (including the other guests!) and the kids are so overtired they will lose it and where the fire alarm will go off at 2am for no good reason waking everyone up only hours after you have eventually gotten off to sleep. When you finally arrive the following morning at your destination, you are in paradise and you will think to yourself well that was worth all the hassle wasn't it?
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