Show Us Ya Tits By Jennifer Burke

Don’t you hate it when guys drive along & yell out, “Show us ya tits!”… but they don’t stop? Fellaaazz… I need more time!

I’m sick of the next car getting a free show, & the one after that telling me to “Put ‘em awaaaay!”… “Oops, sorry Dad, I was just saying hello to the new neighbours… they are SUPER friendly. Plus Mum said it was ok & I need a date for the formal.”

Is it just an Aussie thing do you think? Do Americans actually stop the car? Do kiwis ask to, “See your tuts”, & you’re like, “Um… my what?”

Do European guys drive alongside you, serenading you with female anatomy themed love songs while politely asking to see your boobs in sexy unintelligible accents so you don’t notice how creepy it really is? Do Brits in colder climates recognise the futility of such a request and ask you to get into the heated unregistered black van first… like true gentlemen?

Personally, if I wanted to see some solicited tender breast action from the confines of a moving vehicle... I’d flash mine first. Using the, ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours’ principle, means everybody wins. But dignity loses.

FYI, I’d do more than just flash my lady bumps if they'd bother to stop… “Show us ya glutes!?”, “Help me with my tax retuuuurn!?”, “How do we get back on the M1 we’re completely looooost!?”

Sure, whatever you need man, just stop the freakin’ car!

Seriously tho, what’s it really all about? Why do guys ask to see your jugs but don’t even slow down, so at the very least, you’ve got time to whip out just one of your knockers?! (The left one of course, the right one’s got a lazy eye… and you’ll be damned if you’re going to embarrass yourself!)

The answer is simple… they’ve all got multiple personalities, & the one not listed on their birth certificate’s a dirty bastard!

Or bogan tourettes. #googleit


in Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia

 1,433

Comic & Triple J RAW Comedy Grand Finalist. Talker @ 4ZZZ. Bachelor of film @ SAE. Writer. Improv. Muso. Danca? Kombuchaholic. Chronic pain fighter. Rep @ Howell Management #TaxTimeIsLava

See Jennifer's profile.

Jennifer's website.

Subscribe


  • Share this on...
  • Twitter
  • Google+
  • StumbleUpon

Flag this story



You might like: