Ned: a life of love, shit, and above all, nothingness By Jason de Silva

Ned, we'll call him Ned, his name is not actually Ned, but when you think of names it's never John or Tilbury, it's always Ned. In fact, it's fictional so it could very easily be Ned as opposed to John, Neddith or Nedford. Ned sometimes enjoyed a pack of M&Ms. Now the important thing to remember is, Ned does not want the yellow 'peanut' M&M. He makes this clear to everyone. EVERYONE. The reason? he simply prefers the others. Does there have to be a reason? For purpose of this post, and because Ned is fictional, Ned doesn't like the yellow M&Ms because he is the product of a blue and a brown M&M. Yes, Ned is an M&M. What's more, Ned is an M&M with prejudice against his fellow yellow M&M. He hates everything about the yellow M&M, but largely, his hatred is because it is yellow. If he was human, he'd be far far-right, or neo-nazi, but actually, he knows nothing about humans, or nazis, or even that he is an M&M. All he knows is that he sits in a bin with other deformed and genetically crossed M&Ms, occassionally watching a conveyer belt of yellow M&Ms skitting past above him. He hates them! If he had hands, he'd do unimaginable things. But he doesn't have hands, nor does he have a consciousness, or any self awareness. So actually he doesn't know anything about anything. This is probably a true story, although the probability is definitely questionable and cannot be verified.


in London, United Kingdom

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