Chopping an ear off isn't going to impress girls By Dave Crankston

I was about 18 or 19, not technically the right age for 'schoolies' celebrations, but close enough, for me. I was with a group of mates in Mooloolaba QLD, walking up a hill, to get somewhere in our half drunk state.. there were 2 or 3 girls with us, things were going well, but I needed an edge over the other guys... what could I do... I know..

So in my head, the plan was to run ahead and jump/push myself up onto the top of one the brick pillars of one of the houses fence. I was going to leap/spin, and land perfectly in a 'sitting on a chair' type position and pronounce "TaaDaa!!"

What actually happened hurt. Unbeknownst to me, behind the fence about a foot away, was a low garden bed made of bricks also, about 4 bricks high. Also unbeknownst to me, I had very little jumping/spinning/landing how I was meant to skill.... I got to the sitting position in one go, but had judged the landing wrong, sitting too far back... I fell backwards with my head screaming towards the edge of the garden bed... I had just enough time to turn my head so I only chopped my ear off not my whole face!! It didn't fall off completely, it was dangling kinda, the top half of my ear.

Schoolies night then turned into a freaked out driving mission to find a doctor/hospital only to end up at Caboolture hospital at 3am, to get a bandage put on and told there are no doctors on tonight that can fix it, "we'll make an appointment for you at Brisbane hospital for tomorrow". What was that? I can't ear you.


in QLD, Australia

 478

People say things like " I wish i had an interesting life like you"... no you don't. weird shit, lucky shit, shit, happens to me, that seems cool sometimes, but its not all fun. Im my own normal.

See Dave's profile.

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