Year of the Urethral Parasite By Christopher Jordan

I fucked a midget this year and now she won't respond to my calls.

2015 was a weird year for me. I started a podcast (The Knobkast), I sold my house, got stuck in the streets 8 goddamn times, left my band to pursue stand-up, hosted a show with both male and female strippers, was publically accused of being a BNP supporter (google it), had an industry douche begging people not to book me, my girlfriend moved to Amsterdam, my dad's dad and my mum's mum got lung cancer, I winched my best mates girl and I pissed my pants on a date.

NOW. In my defence, I was drunk during all of it.

I did a lotta good stuff too this year... but I didn't discover my viagra & ecstasy combo fetish while doin' good stuff!

I had fun this year! Yeah, maybe a few assholes complain, but at least my mum loves me, and that old skank'll love me no matter how offensive, backstabbing and disgraceful I get!

Happy 2016 world. Enjoy WWIII


in Earth

 578

BE WARNED! My views and opinions are not for everyone. You should avoid reading anything I write if you respect religion, tolerance, sobriety or general human decency.

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