This is a story about a fart. But not just any fart. This fart... was about to change one mans life. One very unsuspecting airport security employee's life.
Many, many years ago, my friend Kelso and I were stopped at Stansted airport in London after we set off the metal detectors. We had poppers. We were searched and patted down.
But then an amazing thing happened! Kelso, unshowered, with jeans hanging waaay below his sweaty ass, performed a fart as the security guard was on his knees checking the backs of his shoes! It was the wet pop of a fart that can only be achieved through days of rough living, like a bubble exploding underwater, and it aimed itself down the guards throat as he held the flashlight between his teeth. It was a good day.
The security guard quickly got back to his feet, winced and said, "Just go."
Conclusion: When you're in trouble with the law, rip one.