Goddamn Sponge-Bob By Christopher Jordan

My Mum has this running joke, where every Christmas she buys me a piece of Sponge-Bob memorabilia. Just loads'a Sponge-Bob stuff all over the house.

Sponge-Bob socks, pants, t-shirts, (I'll have a Goddamn Sponge-Bob suit by 2017) whoopy-cooshen's, keyrings, teddy bears,... I'm livin' in Sponge-Bobopolis.

When the room starts spinning, it's like a big, yellow, happy, smiley, vortex of Sponge-Bob! When I'm trying to sleep, he's watching me! Those big, fuckin', terrifying eyes!

At nights, I'm all wrapped up in a Sponge-Bob blanket, enveloped in Sponge-Bob, trying to watch a movie starring Annette Schwartz's, and I got dat nigga Sponge-Bob glaring up at me.

I had a Sponge-Bob sofa man. A Goddamn Sponge-Bob sofa. ...well played Mum. Well played.

in Furnace, Scotland, United Kingdom


BE WARNED! My views and opinions are not for everyone. You should avoid reading anything I write if you respect religion, tolerance, sobriety or general human decency.

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