My Magical Muffin Adventure - Part 2 By Chris Begg

I was on my way home, unaware that the effects of the pot muffin had started to take hold. It's one thing to get high on your own accord, if that's your thing, but it's something else entirely when you've unknowingly ingested it.

As the tingling feeling swept through my body, an overwhelming feeling of paranoia took over. I had no idea what was happening to me, but I had an inkling that the stem I had removed from my teeth earlier might have been responsible.

I had a 10 minute walk home from the bus stop, in Queanbeyan, at night. It's not the kind of place you want to be at night, especially alone, and especially with muffin induced paranoia.

Every time a car drove by I'd dive behind some bushes, fearing that I'd be involved in some Comptonesque drive by shooting. However, there was a stretch of road that had no bushes to hide behind, so I'd brace for the impact of bullets every time I'd hear a car. It was nothing short of a miracle that I didn't soil myself, not that I'd have any shame if I had.

Half an hour later I made it home, told my parents I wasn't feeling well, and retired to my room to listen to some Pink Floyd and eat Doritos. Ever since that day I have never turned down a free muffin, for you never know when the next magical muffin adventure will be.

in Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia


Comedian, Musician, Writer, Animator, and part time human being. Hobbies include tickle fights, playing guitar, cabbage, and high tea parties on the Maharashtra river.

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