My Magical Muffin Adventure - Part 1 By Chris Begg

It may be hard to believe, but when I was a teenager I was quite the ladies man. Up until the age 17 I was rarely without a girlfriend, even though I couldn't quite grow a decent looking beard.

When I was 15 I had a girlfriend called Fiona. In high school terms this was a long term relationship; We'd been together for a whole 6 months! So, you know, this was a serious thing.

One day I went with her to one of her friends houses, and to say the house was in a state of disrepair would be like saying constipation is a fun way to spend a weekend. The place was an absolute mess, and Fiona's friends Mum was trying to intimidate with stories of all the people she knew who could beat me up. I wasn't scared though, because I was 15 and had done one class of boxercise. I could take on anyone.

Shortly after they offered me a chocolate muffin. Chocolate is one of my main weaknesses, so naturally I accepted. It was a delicious muffin, until I pulled a stem out of my teeth. Unknown to me, they had been pot muffins. Delicious, yummy, pot muffins. After a while I left, thinking nothing of the muffin. There had been no effect from it, so I continued on my merry way to catch the bus home.

As the bus approached my stop I started to feel this tingling sensation in my toes, and it slowly made its way up my legs, and to the rest of my body. I was freaking out. I had no idea what was happening, and I started getting paranoid, right before walking home in the dark.

To be continued.


in Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia

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Comedian, Musician, Writer, Animator, and part time human being. Hobbies include tickle fights, playing guitar, cabbage, and high tea parties on the Maharashtra river.

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