Ways to f&^k up #1 By Steven J. Noridiculousmiddlenames Whiteley

I once fell off stage in front of 11, 000 people. True story. My band "Avant Garde" was playing 4ZZZ Market Day in 1994. It was in Albert Park, and there were apparently 11,000 people there. I don't remember. I was off my face on a mix of speed, weed and acid. I do remember going on stage. It was awesome. There were people everywhere, screaming at us (in my mind, they were screaming FOR us, but they probably weren't, they were just as fucked up as I was. Good acid in Brisbane at that time.) We got through a few of our songs, and then I decided to run from one side of the stage (which was the back of a semi trailer) to the other and land on one of the foldback wedges. This was before the days of the platforms bands have now. The wedge was wet. I slid off straight off it, and into the crowd. (no safety area back then, crowd was up against the stage). I landed on my back, and thank fuck, they caught me. My guitar however, did come down and split open a young man's head. I felt terrible as they carried me and lifted me back on stage. I apologised to him from the stage and promised to cover any medical expenses he might incur as a result. I had no idea how I could do that, but it seemed like the right thing to say. We finished our set (with no more impromptu stage diving) and left the stage.
He was waiting on the steps. He asked if I would sign the massive bloodstain on his shirt, (I did), we sculled a beer, and I've never seen him again. Rock and roll

in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia


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