I've always known that I was adopted. My parents told me from a very young age. They say they did it so that there was no big emotional scene when I found out. I've always suspected that they did it so they could distance themselves from my actions. But for whatever reason, I've always known.
I never fitted in with my adopted family. I still don't to a certain degree. They view things in black and white, whereas I'm more "shades of grey". Like the law, they see things as either legal, or illegal. I see things as right or wrong, and also how it applies to me at the time. I know that a lot of the things I've done in my life were illegal, but I needed to do them, and I wasn't ever hurting innocent people, so that was okay.
Being an adopted child, I always knew that I had another family out there. A real, blood tied family. I let myself believe that this family was where I would fit in, and everything would make sense. I couldn't have been more wrong. There's a lot of discussion about "genetics v environment", and I think I'm the perfect example of that. When I finally met my biological family, I nearly died. They were everything I'd come to despise. Housing commission dwelling, dole bludging pieces of scum. My "mother" did nothing but make excuses for how shit her (and her children's) life was because of me. I'd ruined her life, her chances at happiness and therefore my brothers and sisters after me.
So where did I fit in?